Embodied Relationship / Man and Woman.

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Whether you are single or in relationship, it is seen that ultimately there is no difference between the two. It is the same love, no different, just a different expression in the appearance of it. They are the same at source.

In truth, you see that no relationship actually exists in the timeless, because it’s clear there is nobody to have a relationship with; just beingness, that’s all there is, but here in form as man or woman, and in the relational field there is a vital dance of the masculine and feminine in every form throughout space and time. They are the two polar energies that exist throughout the entire universe and drive the universe further. Without them there would be nothing.
These two polar opposites are magnetically drawn to each other and in their unification create whole new worlds on every level of existence and in every dimension. It is this sacred force of Love that expands and evolves everything! As we discover the love we are within ourselves we are harmonising the masculine and feminine within ourselves allowing us to know and feel the love we are ever further and deeper. When we do this with ourselves it is magical as the alchemy of love takes over. And when we do this with each other, in sacred partnership it becomes a fast track, a catalyst for our evolution that we would never have expected!

The fact is we exist in this relational field, so everything is in relationship. Everything effects everything else everywhere, and everybody else.
Relationship in particular triggers up everything that  appears to have become separated out from love, from the Source of all. It is a fire that brings maturity, if one is willing to honest with each other. That is real love.

Being single is purposeful also, as it triggers up other aspects. Both have their place and their time.

“Love brings everything up”. …..as it must!

This article is not just about the recognition of ones true nature , but it is about the actual practical day to day living in the world of form as man and woman.

Not only are we the space in which everything arises, we are also here as human beings and as either male or female expressions of humanity.

This is something, I, here as the female form am still investigating and what is being discovered now is a natural out-flowing of immense compassion for the two little human beings that are trying to do their best. It is one of the most challenging areas of all, our personal relationships.

One needs only to be willing. It only takes the love of a good man and the love of a good woman, who are both willing and where both feel safe to be transparent and express their feelings and be treated with kindness wherever possible.

Children actually love it when they see and feel their parents love for Truth and they thrive in a family where the parents are prioritizing the relationship as they feel secure and loved and lovable, when they see their parents enjoying spending time together and truly loving each other like this. This is because they see themselves as extensions of their parents and thus their parents love. They do not see themselves as separate from you, so everything you do in your relating with your partner effects them. If you are attending rightly with each other as best you can, when you can, then you create a powerful portal for love to embody through you for the planetary evolution.

It’s a beautiful role model for love on the planet. It doesn’t negate a parents love of their children at all by prioritizing the relationship with your partner, infact the love flowers even more for the entire family. It is a gift for all, when two people are willing to love each other like this.

This article is about embodied relationship and how to keep growing into love with each other, with all the flaws and the actual reality of what loving really is. It’s  about ‘maturing in love’ with each other.
Love brings the opposites of life together, thus there can’t help but be some friction, some conflict in bringing these two opposites together. It’s like mating two completely different species! That’s the challenge and the fun.

Male and female are obviously made for each other and at the same time trigger up anything that gets in the way of them being together fully in harmony.

I’m only speaking of heterosexual relationship here. This does not discount in any way, same sex relationship, where one may be more masculine and one more feminine.  All has its place and all is well.

So for our purposes lets just stick with the male / female polarity overall.
Because no matter how you identify with or as we all hold these two energies within us.
Bringing these two polarities together is never straight forward, there are many twists and turns on the journey of relationship and relating.

Yet there are times in any relationship when these two come into harmony, as one, with each other. The ultimate paradox of life has come together! That’s why human love is a beautiful thing. It unites the conscious male/female polarity on the planet. There is so much depth and beauty with personal human love between two people, but if you over personalise the love, then you will suffer, especially if one leaves or dies, which will happen at one point anyway, you can’t escape this fact.
Here the personal and impersonal come together , loving deeply and personally without personalising your love. Love or life will bring you together and life will part you when the time comes. But the love you shared developed and grew never dies.

This is one way in which love embodies and activates fully on the planet through the love of the male and female and especially through making love, rather than just having sex. Sex is a momentary satisfaction, which is fine and can even be fun, but sometimes it’s not, whereas making love reaches into the actual profundity of love. Embodying love on the planet is potently made through the male and female making love and looks as if it is part of humankind’s evolution on Earth. It’s loving the counterpart of your self!?

Relationship can be seen as a wild beast, slowly being tamed by loves sweet caress. We never know how long we have with each other,  2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years or 20 years, but what ever love brings up, triggers up, it is purposeful. It is only what is appearing as unloved requiring the light of loving awareness to bring it home.

If the relationship has served its purpose, and the two have gone as far as they can go with the capacity they have then it can be lovingly surrendered back to love and Life Itself.

Honesty is love. A true and real relationship will challenge each other from time to time. Then all can be seen, as love/life/God doing it for you.

All our vulnerabilities, patterns and reactions get triggered up in relationship from our childhood, our ancestral patterning and cultural conditioning. That is understandable. It is maturing the humaness in us all. What is required is an honesty with yourself and each other when they do arise. It’s no ones fault, when you and I are willing to be authentic and transparent about how we feel.

This doesn’t mean you stay in a bad relationship. If the relationship is harmful, dishonest, unloving or toxic, there will be a movement in you to leave.

All you need do is bring the spaciousness of you, the conscious awareness to you, to yourself, to whatever is arising. Be still, quiet and tender with oneself and just notice that you are alive, that there is a sensation in the body of some energy of movement which is simply an old emotional reaction. No need to interpret or psychoanalyse it. It’s only old pain, requiring release, that’s all. Nothing wrong with pain. Be easy with it. This is easily done with your soft and quiet attention. It will, with your unmoving gentle gaze dissolve.

It’s simply bringing light to that which has momentarily forgotten it is consciousness itself. That’s all.

Therapy/counselling can all be helpful to a point, and help you to be more honest and to support acceptance of feelings just as they are and therapies true purpose is to free you.

Having been a Therapist/Counsellor for many years now. I see therapy can certainly assist and make ones relationships and life easier. It has it’s place , but ultimately only you as life can take you to you. A good therapist will always be pointing you there. Once you have tasted your true self or true nature there is an ‘ease of being’ that wells up in the life, in your relationships with others and with all situations, no matter how challenging. It is a ground of peace and love that is palpably sensed behind all thoughts and emotions or reactions etc.
What is noticed is the emotions get less and less charged, until they have little or no charge left, or they erupt and are gone as quickly as they came with no residue. They simply wash through, because  any belief in them has gone or is dissipating.

This is why relationship is purposeful because it is one of the most challenging human experiences, as it naturally mature us in a way that only love can do. There is a fear of growing up and maturing, it’s part of the psyche of the times, this only needs to be seen and accepted and all the transformations come from there.

Simply be willing to love and see what happens. Be willing to come forward to each other with kindness when you are able to and see what unfolds.
Your partner will do what they do, say what they do, react how they do. You can’t do anything about it, all you can do is be honest with your self and be honest with whatever is arising in you.
Keep the attention, the awareness on you, NOT ON THEM, keep it on you and how it effects and feels in you and everything will unfold from there beautifully. We are not separate from each other so what is done and undone in you is reflected in your relationship with your partner, sometimes immediately. It is very surprising. Sometimes you will speak a frustration/ a feeling or concern out to them if need be, and sometimes there is no need to say anything, as you stay with you. Simply stay honest with oneself as to what is arising. Otherwise the relationship may struggle to mature or flower.

This is the responsibility or vigilance required to see the moment of choice within the choiceless arising of everything.

The only choice you actually have is to see in any moment what is choicelessly arising and to bring the space of ‘who you are’ tenderly and gently to the vulnerability or old reactive pattern.

Allow yourself to not know and in this ‘not knowing’ a space opens up to the openness that is already fully here, fully alive and then true intelligence, true inspiration unfolds. Wait in this space until you see what to do, then speak or act from here.

Often people have a ‘need scenario’ going on for relationship. A longing and a fear of relationship. However when you are at home with yourself there is a natural openness, a natural inclination towards being more real and transparent in ones relating as man and woman without personalizing it or being overly attached to it. What is left is compassion for the two human beings endeavouring to be with each other and a capacity to truly love.

You see that love brings everything up and brings everything home.

Written by Jane Rosaline Hunter

Copyright January 2010

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