Relationship / Man and Woman.

Posted by admin | January 27, 2010

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Relationships.

Whether you are single or in relationship, it is seen that ultimately there is no difference between the two. It is the same love, no different, just a different expression in the appearance of it. They are the same at source.

In truth, you see that no relationship actually exists in the timeless, (that which is prior to time and space), because it’s clear there is nobody to have a relationship with; just beingness, that’s all there is, but here in form as man or woman, in the living of life in time, there certainly is a fascinating and wonderful appearance and expression of relationship. A wonderful dance of the masculine and feminine; which is meant to be thoroughly enjoyed.

Relationship triggers up everything that appears to have become separated out from love, from the source of all. It is a fire that brings maturity, if one is willing to get very real and honest with each other. That is real love.

Being single is purposeful also, as it triggers up other aspects. Both have their place and their time.

“Love brings everything up”. …..as it must!

This article is not just about the recognition of ones true nature , but it is about the actual practical day to day living in the world of form as man and woman.

Not only are we the space in which everything arises, we are also here as human beings and as either male or female expressions of humanity.

This is something, I, here as the female form am still investigating , and what is being discovered now is a natural outflowing of compassion for the little human beings that are trying to do their best.

One needs only to be willing. It only takes the love of a good man and the love of a good woman, who are both willing and where both feel safe to express their feelings and be treated with kindness wherever possible.

Children actually love it when they see and feel their parents love for Truth and they thrive in a family where the parents are prioritizing the relationship as they feel secure and loved and lovable, when they see their parents enjoying spending time together and truly loving each other like this. This is because they see themselves as extensions of their parents and thus their parents love.
It’s a beautiful role model for love on the planet. It doesn’t negate a parents love of their children at all by prioritizing the relationship with your partner, infact the love flowers even more for the entire family. It is a gift for all when two people are willing to love each other like this. Male and female polarities in harmony, is a powerful and potent elixer of life.

This is not about falling in love, as wonderful as that may be, and we all love falling in love, it is wonderful. this article is more about growing into love with each other, because what falls in love, also falls out, as we’ve all experienced, and that’s ok too, because that’s when real love has a chance to blossom. This is rather about ‘being in love, the flaws and all, the actual reality of what loving really is. It’s about ’maturing in love’ with each other. Love brings the opposites of life together , the only two polarities on this earth are either male or female. Thus there can’t help but be some friction, some conflict in bringing these two opposites together. It’s like mating two completely different species! That’s the challenge.

Male and female however, are obviously made for each other and at the same time trigger up anything that gets in the way of them being together fully in harmony as one.

I’m only speaking of heterosexual relationship here. This does not discount in any way, same sex relationship, where one may be more masculine and one more feminine. All has its place and all is well.

So for our purposes lets just stick with the male / female polarity overall.

Bringing these two polarities together is never straight forward, there are many twists and turns on the journey of relationship and relating.

Yet there are times in any relationship when these two come into harmony, as one, with each other. It is challenging yet ultimately enjoyable. The ultimate paradox of life has come together! That’s why human love is a beautiful thing. It unites the conscious male/female polarity on the planet. There is nothing wrong with personal human love between two people but if you personalise the love, then you will suffer if one leaves. Here the personal and impersonal come together , loving personally without personalising your love. Love or life will bring you together and life will part you when the time comes.

This is one way in which love embodies and activates fully on the planet through the love of the male and female and especially through making love, rather than just having sex. Sex is a momentary satisfaction, which is fine, whereas making love reaches into the actual depths of love. Embodying love on the planet is potently made through the male and female making love and looks as if it is part of humankinds evolution on Earth. It’s loving the counterpart of your self!?

Relationship is a wild and beautiful beast, slowly being tamed by loves sweet caress. We never know how long we have with each other, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years or 20 years, but what ever love brings up, triggers up, it is purposeful in the life. It is only what is appearing as unlove requiring the light of loving awareness to bring it home.

If the relationship has served its purpose, and the two have gone as far as they can go with the capacity they have then it can be lovingly surrendered back to love and life itself.

Honesty is love. A true and real relationship will challenge each other from time to time. Then all can be seen, see it as love/life’/God doing it for you.

Old patterns and reactions get triggered up in relationship from our childhood, our genetic patterning and cultural conditioning. That is understandable. It is maturing the humaness in us all. What is required is just an acceptance of these aspects, just as they are. Nothing can be different until it is. Everything is the way it is, simply because it is. It’s no ones fault.

This doesn’t mean you stay in a bad relationship. If the relationship is harmful, dishonest, unloving or toxic, there may be a movement in you to leave. You will leave when you leave and not until you do. It will all get done. Life will unfold it, it’s Gods life and perhaps all you can do is ask ‘life itself as life itself ‘ for clarity as it all unfolds and see what life is wanting to be seen.

All you need do is bring the spaciousness of you, the conscious awareness to you, to yourself, to whatever is arising. Be still, quiet and tender with oneself and just notice that you are alive, that there is a sensation in the body of some energy of movement which is an old emotional reaction. No need to interpret or psychoanalyse it. It’s only old pain , requiring release, that’s all. Nothing wrong with pain. Be easy with it. This is easily done with your soft and quiet attention. It will, with your unmoving gentle gaze dissolve.

It’s simply bringing light to that which has momentarily forgotten it is consciousness itself. That’s all.

Therapy/counselling can all be helpful to a point, and help you to be more honest and to support acceptance of feelings just as they are and therapies true purpose is to free you.

Having been a Counsellor for some years now I see therapy can certainly improve upon ones personality etc and make ones relationships and life somewhat easier. It has it’s place , but ultimately only you as life can take you to you and you have no control over that! The paradox once again. Once you have tasted your true self or true nature there is an ‘ease of being’ that wells up in the life, in your relationships with others and with all situations, no matter how challenging. It is a ground of peace and ‘well being’ that is palpably sensed behind all thoughts and emotions or reactions etc. What is noticed is they get less and less charged, until they have little or no charge left, or they erupt and are gone as quickly as they came with no residue. They simply wash through, because any belief in them has gone or is dissipating.

This is why relationship is purposeful because it is one of the most challenging human experiences , because it does naturally mature us in a way that only love can do. There is a fear of growing up and maturing, it’s okay, it’s part of the psyche of the times, this only needs to be seen and accepted and all the transformations come from there.

Simply be willing to love and see what happens. Be willing to come forward to each other and see what unfolds.
Ask ; “What would love do?”

Your partner will do what they do, say what they do, react how they do. You can’t do anything about it, all you can do is be honest with your self and be honest with whatever is arising in you. Keep the attention, the awareness on you, NOT ON THEM, keep it on you and everything will unfold from there beautifully. We are not separate from each other so what is done and undone in you is reflected in your relationship with your partner, sometimes immediately. It is very surprising. Sometimes you will speak a frustration/ a feeling or concern out to them if need be, and that is right and sometimes there is no need to say anything, as you stay with you. Simply stay honest with oneself as to what is arising. Otherwise the relationship will struggle to mature or flower.

This is the responsibilty or vigilance required to see the moment of choice within the choiceless arising of everything.

The only choice you actually have is to see in any moment what is choicelessly arising and to bring the space of who you are tenderly and gently to the emotion or old reactive pattern.

Allow yourself to not know and in this ‘not knowing’ a space opens up to the openness that is already fully here, fully alive and then true intelligence, true inspiration unfolds. Wait in this space until you see what to do , then act from here.

“Wait and see” as Papaji used to say.

Often people have a need scenario going on for relationship. A longing and a fear of relationship. When this dissolves what is left is a natural openness, a natural inclination towards relating as man and woman without personalizing it or being attached to it. The need and the resistance to relationship dissolves. What is left is compassion for the two human beings endeavouring to be with each other and a capacity to truly love.

Relationship / Man and Woman.

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